I've been away ...

I wasn't sure I was going to share this but here we go.  Lets just say I've had a lot on my plate.  So many things have been going on.  It's been a very trying time for me over the past 6 weeks and I feel like I'm finally starting to come out of a fog.  It all started with some tingling in my left leg ... it was always happening when I flexed my neck but sometimes would occur just while standing there or walking.  The tingling would run down the front of my leg and then I'd get a pins/needles feeling in my foot.  Initially I believed I had a pinched nerve or a back injury but I didn't really have any back pain (just normal achy muscles in the evening).  Well, I saw my Primary MD, he did an MRI of my neck and back.  It was a very long week of waiting for the results but they came back normal according to the Radiologist.  Well, I was stressed about it ... very stressed.  It's wasn't 'normal' tingling, it's was like 'something is wrong tingling'.  I mistakenly asked a doctor (a very good one) at work what he thought and he said it could be all sorts of things but could also be Tethered Cord Syndrome.  Not a good thing to have.  Worried.  A few shifts later I talked with a doctor I trusted and he said, "Do you want to know worst case scenario?  Something I always think about when I hear of strange tingling is MS (Multiple Sclerosis)."  What!?!  Scared the heck out of me.  This sounds hard to believe but during the same shift a nurse came up to me and said, "Have they checked you out for MS?  I just did a research paper on it."  I was instantly a wreck.  Cried and didn't sleep all night and went straight to my Primary MD the next morning.  He called Neurology and they said they wanted to see me.  I waited the weekend and finally got in to see the most wonderful Neurologist.  Well, I was excited to see him ... I thought he would give me peace of mind about the MS thing and tell me it was a pinched nerve but was mistaken.  He says he sees something on my Neck MRI that "catches his eye" and wants to order an MRI of my brain, a gazillion labs and possibly a spinal tap.  He says my symptoms could be lots of things but MS is one of them and when I asked him what he thought percentage wise on whether I have it or not (why did I ask that) he says ... "uh, I'm right on the fence ... I would say 50/50".  That turned my world upside down.  I was supposed to work that day but couldn't ... I was scared to death, nauseated and just a mess.  Well, I got an MRI that day and thankfully got wonderful news ... the Brain MRI was normal.  This is excellent news according to my Neurologist but he still wants to do a spinal tap to rule out MS.  A few days later I had a spinal tap and once again had to wait for the results.  The waiting is the hardest.  The results went straight to my kp.org inbox.  CSF - Multiple Sclerosis Panel ... I couldn't open it ... was terrified to look.  Brian was at work and I was alone with the kids.  How would I handle it?  Remember, I had already convinced myself that I had it.  I emailed my doctor and within a few minutes he said it was all NORMAL.  MS ruled out.  Not sure of the cause of my tingling, he says it could be that somehow a virus got into my spinal cord.  Hopefully the symptoms will go away but if they don't, it's something I can live with. 

This experience changed my life.  It turned my whole world upside down and I'm still struggling to get it right side up again.  I'm doing better each day but am not quite myself yet.  I will never take the health of myself or my family for granted.  I will not stress out out about the little things that I used to worry about.  Sure makes you put things in perspective and I will surely be a better nurse. 

I have a lot of blogging catching up to do. 

Go ahead, make my day.  He's adorable.

My mom had a Nerf-Gun fight with M.

I think she has an unfair advantage with this gun.

Cutie-Pie.

She loves Roscoe.  Any doggies really.

Off to bed.